Naruto Parody
by Black Magic Necromancer
Summary: Funny naruto stories
1. Naruto Parody

**Naruto: When you read everyone's minds.**

FYI, this is a parody. If you can't handle a joke, don't come complaining to me! That is all.

In the village of Konoha everyone thinks differently when they train.

First Naruto in the ramen shop, (that's training)?

I'm gonna beat you, believe it!

I'm faster than you, believe it!

I'm stronger than you, believe it!

I'm fatter than you, believe it!

Believe it! Believe it! Believe it! Ah! Ramen!

Now Sasuke in a dark alley, alone...

I'm too smart to train and I know everyone is a piece of shit.

Now Sakura stalking Sasuke,

Sasuke, oh Sasuke… I can impress you with my hair.(Tries to touch her used to be long hair) WHERE'S MA HAIR Y'ALL?

Then Shino in the forest,

Danm, I need a vacation. Thses ants are itchy.

Then Kiba at a pound,

My dog just died yesterday. I want to train but I don't have a dog. I think I'll get Scooby Doo next.

Then Hinata right behind Naruto,

Naruto, Naruto.

Ino next at Starbucks,

What should I mind transfer jutsu on? (Looks around) Ah! This cup of coffee will do!

Choji next at a buffet, all you can eat forever,

I'm fat! (And I can roll good)

Shikamaru next sleeping,

What a drag…..

Neji practicing somewhere,

1,049 palms!

2,584.53 palms!

2 palms three quarters palms!

1 palm!

B4!

Gai-Sensei watching him somewhere,

Yea, yeah, I have that on my bingo card.

Ten-Ten training with Rock Lee in the middle of Konoha,

Rock Lee is so awesome!

Rock Lee almost killing people with Ten-Ten in Konoha,

Gai- Sensi in my inspiration!

Garra in the desert,

(Lifts sand) cough, cough.

Temari flying (on her fan) and stalking Sasuke,

Sasuke, oh Sasuke… I can impress you with my hair.(Tries to touch her hair thinking it's in the back of her back, but it's really tied up). WHERE'S MA HAIR Y'ALL?

Kankurou trotting along to a place where dreams come true,

Damn this puppet is heavy.

Last Kakashi looking at you,

Please review and I'll take off my mask. (winks, hint hint).


	2. Naruto's New Mission

**Naruto Gets a New, Easy Mission.**

It was a bright,sunny day at Konoha. Someone was knocking on Naruto's door at Naruto's room.

Naruto yelled, "What!"

Shino(He is the bug master in Hinata's Group) said, "It's me."

Naruto said, "Yeah. I know that voice. What do you want?"

Shino said, "The Hokage has a mission for you."

Naruto said, "Really! Okay lets roll!"

Shino, Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke went to the Hokage's office.

Naruto said, "So what's the mission granny?"

Tsunade said, "I want you to take out all the bandits in the Hidden Sound Village?

Sasuke said, "Sounds easy."

Tsunade warning them, "But it's not because there are bandits."

Naruto saying with lots of confidence, "We can defeat them easily."

Tsunade said, "You have someone that can heal you, it's Sakura."

Naruto cheered happily, "Yay!"

Tsunade yelling at them, "What are you waiting for! Destroy those bandits you maggots!"

Naruto and Sasuke responding to Tsunade like if their in the military, "Yes, sir! Granny, sir!"

Tsunade shouting, "And stop calling me Granny!"

Naruto said, "Or else what?"

Tsunade said, "Or else I'll do the finger flick on all of you, Naruto. I'll flick all of you about 50 yards. How's that?"

Naruto said without even thinking, "Deal!"

Shino, Sasuke, and Sakura shouting, "Naruto!"

Tsunade flicks Naruto, Sasuke, Shino, and Sakura out the window.

Naruto yelling from the ground to the window, "You didn't say that you were gonna flick us out the window!"

Tsunade yelling from the window, "Too bad! Is that 50 yards? Here's some measuring tape."

Naruto is measuring the distance from the window to the ground where they landed.

Naruto shouting from the ground to the window, "53 yards!"

Tsunade yelled, "Close enough!"

Naruto complaining, "But you said that-"

Sakura places her hand over Naruto's mouth causing him not to talk anymore.

Shino said, "Lets go already!"

They started heading to the Sound Village. It was few hours later and the Fantastic Four was still walking to the village.(The Fantastic Four was refering to Sasuke, Naruto, Shino, and Sakura)

Naruto complaining, "I'm bored."

Shino said, "Nice to know."

Naruto said, "I'll go ahead to see if there are any traps or hunters and stuff."

Sasuke said, "Sure go ahead……… I wish there are bandits so that they can kill you."

Naruto questioning Sasuke, "Did you say something?"

Sasuke answering Naruto question, "Maybe I did maybe I didn't."

Naruto runs away from the group, far, far away from the group.

Naruto said, "Perfect." (Laughs evilly)

Naruto lays a trap about 2 miles ahead of the group and then he goes back to the group.

Naruto said nervously, "Ok…. There are no traps in the forest."

Shino said, "Well there better be not."

Naruto said, "At least no one is the leader because if Shino was the leader, all he would say is this. (Imitating Shino's voice) I am the leader of this group."

Shino grabs Naruto and ties to a tree.

Shino said, "Catch up when you break free."

Naruto shouting at everyone, "You bet I will! You haven't seen the last of me! I'll get you crazy kids!"

Sasuke said, "I'll give you an extra coat of rope. It will keep you warm for the rest of the day."

Naruto said, "Cool!"

A few minutes later Naruto breaks free and catches up with the group.

Naruto trips on his on own trap on purpose.

Naruto warning Sakura, "Sakura! Watch out!"

Naruto pushes Sakura out of the way by grabbing her breast.

Sakura yelling at Naruto, "Naruto! You pervert! Grab something else! Move your hand around!"

Instead of grabbing her right breast, he grabs the other breast.

Sakura shouting at Naruto, "NARUTO! YOU ARE SO DEAD!"

Naruto saying in his head, "Operation Sakura's Chest. Success! I deserve a bowl of ramen for this."

Sakura hit naruto on the head so hard, that his head got stuck in a tree. Later in the day, it was starting to become dark.

Shino said, "We should set up camp right in this spot where I'm standing."

Sasuke and Sakura said, "Ok"

Naruto complaining once again, "Hey wait! Hold the phone Joe Mama! How come we have to follow what you say huh?"

Shino said, "Because I am the leader-"

Naruto said, "No you are not the leader. Granny did not assign anyone to be the leader. And if she did it would be me!"

Sasuke said, "No, it would be me."

Sakura yelled, "Stop arguing and set up camp!"

Shuriken was spreading everywhere in a fast motion.

Shino, Sasuke, and Naruto said, "Shuriken!"

Everyone was dodging the shuriken. After that was over, they all set camp and went to sleep, except for Naruto. Naruto made some shadow replications of himself and laid a trap for Shino and the rest of his group. Then Naruto started heading toward the Sound Village. It was about six o clock in the morning.

Sasuke questioning Shino, "So Shino do you remember where we came from?"

Shino answered, "Yes. Of course. Konoha."

Sasuke said, "No! Not were we came from!"

Shino answered again, "Ooooo. Konoha hospital."

Sasuke said, "No! Geez. I thought you were smart."

Shino said, "I am. 2 plus 2 equals 4. Man I'm good!

Naruto singing, "Lets put that aside and start singing. Bad boys, bad boys what'cha gonna do when I am gonna come for you."

Sasuke trying to make the song sound good to him, "Are you sure those are the right words? I thought it was what are YOU gonna do when I am gonna come for you."

Shino said, "No no. Y'all got it wrong. It's-

Sakura yelling at them, " There is no time to talk about this!"

Naruto complaining to Sakura, "Man! Can you stop shouting! It's like shouting is you only language. Besides there is a lot of to talk about this-"

Naruto trips on his own trap on purpose again and tries to grab Sakura. Nothing happened. But before Naruto touched the ground, he stopped moving.

Shino said, " Good thing my shadow possesion jutsu got you just in time."

Naruto said, "What! How did you learn that jutsu!"

Shino said, "I didn't. I was just copying you."

Then Naruto started moving and fell to the ground.

Sakura asking, "What's the trap? And Naruto why did you try grabbing me?"

Naruto said to Sakura, "Cause….. I needed something soft."

Shino and Sasuke said, "Okay. Eww."

Sakura asked Sasuke, "So what is the trap?"

Naruto turns around and there was exploding tags on his back.  
Sasuke yelling at Naruto, " Naruto! There are exploding tags on your back!"

Sasuke saying in his head, "I have to activate those exploding tags, but how?"

Sasuke uses his fire ball jutsu to light up the tags.

Shino congratulating Sasuke, "Sasuke…….. Great job!

Naruto said, "Your very comforting Shino."

Shino said, "Thanks."

Sasuke telling Naruto what to do, "Naruto! Use your Kage bushin whatever and run to that cliff."

Naruto responding like if he is in the military, "Roger that idiot! Kage bunshin no jutsu!"

Soon the tags blow up and all the Narutos are at the end of the cliff. After that trees started falling down on the Three Musketeers.(Refering to the 3 Ss, Sakura, Shino, and Sasuke) They run for their lives. After those tragic things were over, they finally reach the village.

Sasuke yelled, "Mother of pearl who did this!"

By the they got there, the bandits were dead and there was huge stack of dead bodies. There was a note on one of the bodies. Sasuke grabs the note. It said this.

Letter saying, "Dear Sasuke-dude, girl I like (Sakura), and guy addicted to the bugs(Shino)

I came here early cause I had to use the bathroom or poo. If I went poo poo at the area you were in, it would smell and you can here go "Errrr!" and "Oooooo! And stuff when your constipated.You guys were with my shadow replications. The bandits wouldn't let use their bathroom, so I killed them.So lets go home and have some raw men. Get it RAW MEN. Hahahahahaha I kill me….. and Sasuke.

Hate Naruto"

Sasuke said with anger, "Oh I hate him alright."

They all went back top the village fast.

They when to Naruto at the ramen shop.

Shino remembering, "Oh yeah! The traps! Bugs can hear me now?

Bugs said, "Yes"

Shino said, "Good. Now find the idiot who set those traps."

Bugs started attacking Naruto while he was eating his ramen.

Naruto said with disappointment "Aww spinach with hamburgers! That was a new bowl. Uh oh. I know these bugs by there touch,….feel,….and sound."

Sasuke said, "Ewww. Are you g-"

Naruto shouted at Sasuke, "Don't you dare say! I'm not!"

Sakura yelled, "Naruto!"

Naruto asked, "Should I start running?"

Sakura warning him, "I'll you a two second start. 1…..-"

Naruto throws his empty bowl at Sakura and running real fast.

Sakura shouted at Naruto at the top of her lungs, "NARUTO!"

Man telling Sakura, "Keep it down over there!"


	3. Kiba and the Contract

The Contract

It was a beautiful night in Konoha until someone kidnaps Neji and wakes him up. He was in the Hokage's office at 3 o'clock in the morning.

Neji said, "Uh. I wanna go to sleep. Someone gimme my blankey and who was the one that woke me up?"

Kiba said, "That would be me. You were suppose to sleep early!"

Neji said, "I could have if someone told me!"

Kiba whispered to Ten-Ten, "Sorry. I forgot to call Neji because I lost my dog Akamaru so I left him at home."

Ten-Ten said, "Idiot. So what is the mission?"

Tsunade said, "I want all you to find out what is the Snow Country up to and here is a bonus mission. I want you to kill Barry. Here is a picture."

It showed a old man with a beard, white hair, and is wearing a red shirt, pants, and a coat.

Kiba said with courage, "This is going to be a walk in the park. You know why?"

Ten-Ten said, "No. Why?"

Kiba said, "Because I know water bending!"

Neji fell asleep.

Ten-Ten whispered to Neji, "Sleep tight my little angel."

Neji said, "Shut up and lets get on with the mission."

Ten-Ten said, "Fine! Good thing you didn't get enough sleep."

Neji said, "Ok ok ok. I'm sorry."

Ten-Ten said happily, "Wanna hug?"

Neji said, "No. I'm allergic to girls."

Ten-Ten thinking in her head, "What a lame excuse.Do I offend?"

Tsunade said, "Just to make sure you complete your mission."

Tsunade showed a legal document to Kiba. Kiba started signing it.

Ten-Ten said, "Are you going to read it first?"

Kiba said, "Shut up! No I am not going to read it."

Ten-Ten said angrily, "Why does everyone tell me to shut up!"

Kiba said , "Shut up! We're leaving."

They go to the gate.

Neji said, "Ten-Ten. Can you cover me? I wanna go to sleep."

Ten-Ten said, "No! Since you told me to shut up."

Ten-Ten hugs Neji. Neji started coughing (faking it).  
Neji coughing, "Look what you did. I thought I told you that I'm allergic to girls."

Ten-Ten said, "Uh! You'll be fine…. . idiot."

Neji said, "Did you say something?"

Ten-Ten said , "No."

Kiba said to Ten-Ten, "Stop flirting! Lets move!"

Ten-Ten said, "I am not flirting!"

Neji said, "Shut up."

Ten-Ten said, "UUUHHHH!"

A few hours later.

Ten-Ten said, "So Kiba. What did it say on the contract?"

Kiba said, "I didn't read it. But I saw the word academy."

Neji said carelessly, "Maybe we might get sent to the academy."

Kiba said, "Or maybe we have to go back to the academy."

Neji wakes up quickly, "What! But Kiba was the only one that signed it. Lets fail on purpose."

Kiba yelled, "No, Don't! Or else."

Neji said, "Or else what?"

Kiba said with anger, "Or else I'm gonna rip your balls out."

Neji said, "I like to see you try."

Kiba said with disgust, "O my gosh! Are you a union or something?"

Union means that a guy likes a guy.

Ten-Ten said, "Eww! Disgusting! I think I'm gonna hurl.(Saying in her head) I wish Kiba will do it."

It became dark later in the day.

Kiba said, "Lets set up camp. I'll go gather fire wood. Tsuuga!"

Kiba started attacking the trees and made a pile of logs as big as the empire state building. Kiba lighted a match and burned all the fire wood.

Kiba said, "We have Fire!"

Ten-Ten said, "Just one thing. How can we cook our food when it's extremely hot!"

Kiba said, "Easy. You just sit in front of the fire and Wow! It's hot!"

Ten-Ten said, "See. I told you."

Kiba said, "Shut up!"

Ten-Ten was done setting up camp. Kiba was forced to take out the fire. Neji started sleeping.

Shinobi from the Snow Country started an ambush.

Kiba said, "Aha! I knew you were here! Now fear because I know water bending."

Ten-Ten said, "You are so dumb and where did you get the word waterbending."

Kiba said, "I just watched a new episode of Avatar. It was so cool. You should have seen Ang kick Zukko's whoopee cushion!"

Ten-Ten said, "Uh! That's useless."

Kiba started spitting water on one of the bandits.

Kiba said, "Ha! Had enough?"

Ten-Ten yelled at Kiba, "You ran out of charkra because you collected logs as big as the empire state buiding!"

Kiba said, "Man! Stop yelling. Who are you? My mom!"

The Avatar Ang appeared. The shinobi gasped.

Kiba said, "There's an arrow on his head!"

Ang said, "Yeah I know."

Kiba said, "No literally there's an arrow on your head!"

There was an arrow sticking out of the skull. There was no bleeding . It looked like he was a immortal. Ang disappears. There was 10 shinobi surrounding Ten-Ten and Kiba. Neji was still sleeping inside the tent.

Ten-Ten said, "Neji! We need your help!"

Kiba started swinging his arms around and he suddenly hit Ten-Ten.

Ten-Ten said, "OW! Watch it. It will never happen."

Water splashed on one of the shinobi.

Ten-Ten said, "What! I don't believe it! Kiba how did you do it?"

Kiba said, "Its all in the technique Ten-Ten."

Bandit said, "Tell us the secrets of Konoha and we will go easy on you."

Neji appeared with a empty bucket.

Neji said, "Come on! Can I get some sleep around here?"

Neji started attacking the shinobi on Ten-Ten's side.

Neji said, "I'll save you! 2 palms times 2 palms equals 4 palms times 2 palms equals 8 palms times 2 palms equals 16 palms times 2 palms equals 32 palms times 2 palms equals 64 palms times 2 palms equals 128!"

Ten-Ten said, "You know you didn't have to mulpity while your attacking the bandits you can just-"

Neji said, "Ok I get it."

Kiba said, "Neji what about me?"

Neji was asleep.

Ten-Ten said, "I'll help."

Kiba said, "No wait!. Ok bandits. I'll show you Hyuga Style. 2 palms, then more palms, then some more palms, few more palms, more palms, and finally more palms."

While Ten-Ten was laughing, there was a cracking sound.

After Kiba defeated the shinobi he gave a thumbs up to Ten-Ten.

Kiba said, "We're done!"

Kiba fingers were broken and you can tell because the bones on Kiba's finger was sticking out.

Ten-Ten said in disgust, "Ewww! That gross! Lets wrap it up for now and when we reach Konoha, you have to go the hospital."

Everyone started sleeping.

Neji sleep talking, "Ten-Ten."

Ten-Ten said, "What."

Neji said, "I love you."

Ten-Ten said happily, "Me too."

Ten-Ten started hugging Neji.

Neji said, "Don't touch me! (Fake Cough) Look what you did! That was just a test dumb. Now shut up and go to sleep."

Ten-Ten said, "Uh! Stupid."

It was 6 o'clock in the morning. Everyone woke up and ate food they packed in their bags such as bread.

Ten-Ten said, "Did everyone sleep well?"

Neji and Kiba said, "Yeah."

Kiba said, "Is there more shinobi?"

Neji said, "There can't be because we defeated all of them."

More shinobi appeared on their way to Konoha.

Ten-Ten said, "I thought you said that there was no more shinobi."

Neji said, "I did. Weren't you listening."

Barry said, "Hi. I'm Barry."

Kiba said, "Do evil people introduce themselves?"

Ten-Ten said, "Yeah I know you sound nice."

Barry yelled, "Shut up!"

Ten-Ten said angrily, "Ok! That's the last straw!"

Barry said, "What!"

Ten-Ten started hitting all the shinobi that was with Barry including Neji and Barry.

Neji said, "What! What did I do?"

Kiba said, "Hey wait! I wanna help!"

Ten-Ten said, "Shut up!"

Neji was battling Barry. Kiba attacked Everyone including Ten-Ten.

Kiba said, "That's it you asked for it girl."

Ten-Ten said, "Oww. Why didn't you save me Neji?"

Neji said, "Because I didn't feel like it. Kiba he was mine."

Kiba said, "Gotta be faster next time."

They all went to the Hokage's office.

Kiba yelled to the hokage, "How come you didn't tell us that the shinobi were in the forest!"

Tsunade said, "Because of the contract. See. It's in fine print."

The contract said that the hokage would say no more information about the mission.

Kiba said with amazement, "I can't believe it!"

Ten-Ten said, "See! You should have read it first."

Kiba said to Ten-Ten, "You know what?"

Ten-Ten said, "What."

Kiba said, "Shut up."

Ten-Ten said, "Errrrr. You want me to beat you up."

Neji said, "Stop it! Both of you!"

Kiba said, "Ok so what happens after that?"

Tsunade said, "Kiba gets sent to the academy."

Neji said, "Just Kiba, right?"

Tsunade said, "Yes."

Ten-Ten said, "Phew."

Kiba said, "What! Where does it say that?"

Tsunade said, "Here. It's in the fine print within the fine print."

There was words between the gaps of each sentence.

Kiba said , "What! From this day forth I will now read the contract instead of signing it."

Neji said, "HA! I knew we should have failed on purpose."


End file.
